when you become used to getting sad, guess that’s sad in its own way.
APA communities have tolerated and overlooked domestic violence for some of the same reasons that mainstream society has tolerated and overlooked it for so long—the unquestioning acceptance of patriarchy, of male control and privilege. Some APA activists worry that bringing domestic violence into the open will confirm negative stereotypes about the community, and further fuel the fires of anti-Asian sentiment. To expose the problem within APA communities is not a statement about the greater violence or misogyny in Asian Pacific culture … [they] have been reluctant to look self-critically at the traditional misogynistic attitudes and practices for fear that it would reinforce racist stereotypes about Asian Pacific Americans… We believe that along with sexist motivations, fear of betraying our brothers, of adding to their oppression, plays a role in the glaring absence of their support. Such fear causes APA activists to overlook and ignore domestic violence. It has meant sacrificing the lives of our sisters.
Margaretta Wan Lin and Cheng Imm Tan, “Holding Up More Than Half the Heavens” (via sapanaa
“faster,” i moaned. “why won’t this page load faster?”