December 2010
I fucking hate
when I get so insecure when people ignore me. I think my mind translates it to “they don’t care about me” which I know isn’t true.
People then proceed to think I am clingy and stop being friends with me.
I hate this endless cycle.
My depressive episodes have been less frequent, but now some of them are even greater in intensity.
What the fuck.
I don't want to be home. I don't want to be at...
Today,
I hung out with one of my followers who knows one of my friends in real life. She is really cool, I had a great time. She’s a real joy to be with.
On another topic, I had a chat with my best friend about how she likes clingy guys, and how I am kinda one.
I am a sweet guy, and I would do anything for my girlfriend, and I won’t change my ways. A girl who is meant for me won’t...
People always come back to me.
So they can use me when they are emotionally insecure.
Because I am clearly not good enough for you when you aren’t.
Does anyone even read this? Why do I even post here anymore.
I've noticed this habit...
that all my close and best friends always abandon me for someone else they find.
Or significant others.
Maybe this is why I am constantly depressed? Fear of abandonment?
Who knows.
Makes me really sad.
And I help so many fucking people, you’d think they wouldn’t do that. Maybe I should stop being so fucking nice to people.
Makes me so angry.
Can someone prove me wrong?
Talking to you,
made me feel really important for once. That stopped me from being depressed for a few days. I was actually happy. Now that I am not needed anymore, it’s back to the old depressed Jeremy.
Better to have had it and lost it to never have had it at all.
I AM TALKING TO SOY, THE FOUNDER OF SSF RIGHT NOW.
It’s really casual.
But I am dying inside. This is amazing. Helping her with homework though.
I wish I lived near the people I talk to online.
It feels really lonely sometimes…
K-pop (moreover snsd and dbsk)
are sometimes the only things that keep me sane anymore.
There...
must be something wrong with me.
I know it. I know it…
God.
I am really going to miss my dormmates, they are seriously my second family. I really love them.
Life has been going well, both my finals were decent, B’s in the classes at the worst, good in my book.
One of my best friends showed me her blogs when she first started talking to me and how happy she was. I was so joyed, it made my day if not my week.
Life..isn’t so bad right now.
I am never...
Able to deliver when it counts. The big time. I always fall short. Another degrading quality which I have. Which destroys me. Such a failure.
Depression
Finds its way into every crevasse of my life.